New Year, a Time to Reflect.

[Jesus (Jesse) Gonzalez]

Each New Year gives us the opportunity to start again. Most of us like fresh new starts, I know I do. Now that I think about it; my life has been nothing but a series of new beginnings, one after another, each opening a new door and closing and old one. This repeating theme has been a light at the end of the tunnel for me. When times have gotten tough, I have always been able to rely on the fact that this to shall pass. By all measure, I believe myself to be an optimist but, I have never stopped to ponder where this outlook comes from. I am a faithful man and believe that most, if not all of my understanding of this universe comes from the Divine but, I want to take a more scientific approach to comprehend what makes me see the glass half full. Like any good psych major, we must first look to the past. Let’s gaze into the midst of the distant and pull forward those instances where hard decisions were made. As any good Freudian will ask you, “Tell me about your mother.” Considering my mother was a single mom for much of my life, I guess it would be as good a place to start as any. My mother is a drug addicted, incarcerated, overly obnoxious, one way or the highway, street living, hard walking, knife carrying thug. Maybe for some of you reading this blog, I just made you a bit uncomfortable. It’s ok….this will all related back, I promise. Just stay with me. So, my mother wasn’t gong to win any “Mother of the Year” awards and I can’t say she was always a loving mother but, I do remember a time for about 2 years when life seemed so promising……where the possibilities were endless. I was 12 years old and my mother had managed to be accepted at a 6 month housing shelter called Exodus Ministries out of Dallas Texas. Exodus would re-unite our family, provide us with faith based counseling and workshops as well as provide my mom with tools to become more financially stable. Up to this point, Exodus represented the best time of my life. We graduated Exodus and moved into a transitional housing shelter called Interfaith, which was right across the street. Unlike Exodus, Interfaith was more of a “halfway” house for the family. We didn’t have mandatory classes anymore but, we did have to pay rent and utilities however, if and whenever we needed support or help, it was there. After a year had passed, it was time for us to be on our own. My mom, brother, sister and I all moved into a 1 bedroom 800 sq ft apartment just down the road from Exodus and Interfaith. It was very hard but, my mother maintained her 2 jobs and I ran the house taking care of my brother and sister. In fact, we were doing so well, Exodus and Interfaith got together and put my families name on the waiting list of a Habitat House…..the whole idea of becoming a homeowner was life changing for us and once again, our future was the brightest it had ever been. The Summer right after my 14 birthday, everything was going to change and the possibilities were going to come crashing down around me. To make a long story short, upon my return home from Summer camp, I had been completely and utterly abandoned. Apparently my mother had relapsed and violated her parole with a dirty Urine Analysis and they didn’t ever let her out of the office, the Sheriff came and picked her up instantly. At the time, my brother and sister had been spending time with their father so, everyone was taken care of….except me. Imagine if you can, a 14 year old boy, walking up to his apartment door step, knocking to get in and no one answering. That was my reality. I had been completely abandoned. So, my Sunday School teachers, who drove me home that day, saw I couldn’t get in the door and decided to take me to their home till my mother got home. It wasn’t till late that night that I learned she was back in jail and I had no where to go. I can’t imagine what was going through my Sunday School teachers heads…..they had to be completely shocked. Well, they new my history and new I once lived at Exodus and Interfaith so, they called the Executive Directors up and ultimately, a week later I found myself in a new home with a family I knew very well. In the course of about a week, my life changed from food stamps, AFDC, Medicaid, clothing closets, food pantries, free school lunch, to upscale family who could go into Neiman Marcus and buy most anything they wanted. Obviously, a lot more of this biography exist and I promise, it is riveting however, we don’t have enough time to share everything but, I don’t want to make my point so bear with me just a bit longer. You see, I thought life was set up, planned out, pre-determined. I figured the cogs in the wheel were just going to turn and my family was going to be in our Habitat home, my was going to continue with her 2 jobs, I was going to take care of my brother and sister and our life was going to be grand. I never imagined, not even in my wildest dreams that my life was going to turn out so much better. I know that may sound strange to you now and, yes….you are missing a lot of this story but, if my mom hadn’t made the fatal decision to relapse, if I had not been abandoned, if the people who loved me had not stood up to take me in, I can guarantee you, I would not have the life I have today. It took a terrible end, to give me a miraculous beginning and, this has been true through most of my life and, I would have it no other way. So, now…..when you make your 2010 resolutions, when you stand back rapt in awe at your own lives. You maybe going through hell now….things may be tough but, this too shall pass and what could be awaiting around the corner potentially could surpass anything you ever imagined. I wish you the best for 2010, make it special.

[Shawn Maxwell]

Hi Jesse,
Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story which I really needed to hear. I've always been an optimist but this last year has been extremely difficult and has left me feeling quite discouraged. Your story has reminded me that this period in my life shall pass and I too realize and believe that when one door closes, another one opens. I have a renewed spirit and energy for the future.

Thank you again!

[Phyllis Rodriguez]

It is always amazing to think about how many other people have had to and continue to overcome incredible obsticals in order to acheive greatness. Everyday I hear of someone that I know and love having to face things that seem so hard. It is good to know that we are all in it together and we can encourage and support each other. Thank you for your encouragement and support. This will be a year to move forward and leave the past behind except for using the challenges to grow.

[Nicole Brule-Fisher, CRS, GRI]

Jesse,
Thank you. This was really wonderful to read. You've obviously overcome a lot and it is important to remember that when one door closes, another opens.
My favorite quote is from Anne Frank: "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." This is exactly what we can all do, each and every day, either with a smile, a helping hand, or with a superior act as your adoptive family did to assume your care lovingly.
Thank you very much for sharing. Happy New Year.
Nicole

[Monica Dehnert]

Jesse,
Your story is inspirational. As Jan said, you could of turned out an angry, bitter person, but instead, you turned out fair, good natured and encouraging. Thank you for sharing.

[MeLisa Minter]

Wonderful story Jesse. So insightful. It's amazing how things happen in our life and we don't see the rhyme or reason for it at the time. But as life goes on, those situations help define us and make us into the people that we are.

[Jan Baron, RDCPro, CSP, BPOR]

Thanks Jesse. You could have easily turned into a bitter, angry, pessimistic person. I'm so glad you didn't because we now have you giving all this encouragement and optimism for 2010. Best wishes and a great new year for all of us!

[Elizabeth Owens]

Wow! Thanks for sharing with us Jesse. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. We all have to remember that even though we go through hard times we will never be given more than we can handle. Ups and downs and the way we choose to react to them not only helps to shape our character but can be a source of encouragement and support for those around us. Sometimes it may feel like we're drowning but if we choose to focus on the positive and keep swimming we'll get to our destination and we'll be alot stronger for it!

Here's to a blessed 2010!

[Denise Stovall]

Jesse,

Thank you for your great post. What a incredible life story in progress.

Looking forward to new beginnings in 2010.

Denise Stovall

[Johnny Huang]

It's hard for me to fathom hardship when I've been blessed with a good upbringing. We weren't rich, in fact, my mom said we were broke one time during one Christmas (I was 5 at that time), she bought us a bag of pretzels and oranges as gifts! Yet they seemed to manage to take care of us (4 boys).

I live my life based their lives: Love your kids as much as you can, even if it means struggling a few years and work hard in everything.

[Carlos H. Silva Sr.]

Jesse-Can totally understand you because I also went through a similar situation!